Funny thing happened this morning, someone that messages me from time to time hit me up on Messenger. (Identity will be kept confidential) I tend to normally blow this person off, I haven’t really spoken much to them over the years and honestly, since I quit drinking and allowed change in my life; I don’t believe that this person is too happy with me. This type of person wants YOU to stay where you are at in life; stuck with THEM in their miserableness. (Is that a word? It is now Lol) they think they are intellectual or have it all “figured out” even though it is obvious that this person’s life is a mess and they are very lonely. Maybe because they tend to be very mean and judgmental of others? Ya think??
Perhaps YOU know someone like this in your life. I will tell you that it is OK to rid yourself of them or people like them once in a while. I tended to let this person be friends with me on social media since they were a relative of mine but I TOLERATED this person because I was being nice. Not because I wanted this person in my life. I had on more than one occasion drawn a line in the sand with this person, made boundaries so to speak, only to have him come at me from a different angle. Can you relate? Who do you tend to tolerate versus invite to be your friend?
Anyways, digging into me and Insyde Out Fitness; I do get requests from a lot of people regarding SARMs, supplements, Prohormones and even Steroids. (The latter I usually refer to others since I do not have the knowledge or experience to give advice) I do this as a free service at this point, it is always welcome if said person uses one of my codes to purchase items from a company that I am affiliated with. So, after the usual blowing him off that I tend to do he came at me with “hey, I really want to get into shape this year. I want to lose 15 lbs. Is it cool to ask you some questions when I am ready?” To which I replied “Sure thing” I’m not going to turn someone away if they want to ask a few health and fitness questions.
I have however found this to be a loaded question. From personal experience, when someone asks me this question, it either means that they want to take up my time for free or in some cases, they are looking for an “in” so to speak. A way that they can hopefully have unfettered access into my life so they have someone to talk down to. (Notice I didn’t say “talk to”, there is a difference) I have come up with a solution to weed out said people. Again, I will NEVER turn down someone looking for help, this line of questioning is to help me to assess someone’s dedication level or true intentions.
I do ask the person to please explain more of WHY they want to lose XX amount of weight. I may ask them what changes they are making in their life and if they are willing to make LIFE changes! You see, my goal with Insyde Out Fitness is to help you to not only reach your goals but to STICK WITH IT! Unless you are able to come at this from a deeper level of understanding and passion, you will be asking some other clown this time next year the same exact questions that you are asking me! Trust me when I say that I know this from personal experience. Until I took a deeper look into why I was doing the things that I was doing that sabotaged myself, I was not able to stick with it! I would lose the same 10-15 lbs year after year. I had to get off of the merry-go-round so to speak.
For me, it has not been an easy journey. I tend to want to get back on that merry-go-round from time to time. I tend to overeat and get lazy. I need something deeper that will keep me in the gym, something that will keep me satisfied and not spiritually hungry all of the time. There you have it, at the core of a lot of our issues, there is a hunger for something. That hunger is not all bad, what we tend to FILL that void with is where the problem lies…
I have many vices, I tried to fill my void with alcohol, food, women…etc. The thing is, those things don’t fill you for very long and you tend to need more to fill you up. You think I’m messed up? I sure am, yet take a look in the mirror and you might find that you have a lot of similarities with me. At MY core is a deep desire to feel loved. What is the core of your hurts/hangups? If you dig, and truly spend some time searching for it, it will come to you. I can guarantee that.
So back to this conversation; I must have struck a nerve because I was met with a brick wall and accusing me of drinking the Christian kool-aid and other things of that nature. I told him that unless he was willing to look to find his passion for his fitness goals, that the changes would not last. I assured him that I ask everyone else the same thing. His true intentions unfolded as he tried very hard to remind me of my past, and then he attacked my beliefs. I think this was his true intentions all along you see, he may have been drunk/high and really wanted someone to get mad at. I knew that if I asked the right questions, I would get the desired response. Sometimes I am crazy like a fox 😉
Keep in mind that I said nothing about Jesus or God to him. I know that he is an atheist and although we do not share the same beliefs; I respect others’ choices and try to love them regardless. After all, isn’t that what Christ taught us, love others as you would yourself? God never kicked in my door, instead he gently knocked. He allowed me to go down a path that I chose for myself; even allowed me to suffer the consequences of those choices, only to be waiting there for me when I was ready to say “I give up.” Sometimes I think the Church needs to be reminded that by kicking in the doors to proclaim the message of Jesus, it actually turns unbelievers off and their walls go up.
I kindly told him that if he wasn’t ready to make some life changes, maybe he wasn’t ready to take my advice; that my advice was free, I just wanted him to take control of his health and future for long term results. He came back with “man, you have really changed in the last 5 or 6 years.” To which I replied: “And you haven’t, there’s your problem right there.” Boom. I blocked him after sending that, I don’t need to take abuse from anyone like that ever again. And neither should you. After I calmed down, I realized that it feels pretty good to take charge and kick out some of the bad people in my life. It feels good to be MORE in control of myself today than yesterday. Knowing my self worth, TRULY knowing that you don’t have to take that PLUS getting in the last word that will ring in their mind is pretty sweet I have to say. Lol
So why did I choose the title “Sorry, Not Sorry” for this? For those who seem to be offended that I would actually ask them to do some simple Google searches to look for answers to their questions. I’m not doing it because I am lazy or don’t know, it is better to teach someone to find their own information. Kind of the old, teach a man to fish to feed himself type of thing 🙂
For those that get frustrated with me when I ask them to dig deeper into the reasons WHY they want what they want, and WHY they do what they do to sabotage themselves in their health and fitness goals. I am not doing it to be a big meanie, I do this to hopefully inspire PASSION that will help fuel you toward making and meeting YOUR goals! I want you to succeed in life as well! I have found that the people who are my role models in the health and fitness industry (there are VERY few) are people who have passion behind what they do and life isn’t all about the gym and workin’ out to get shredded brah! I do what I do to hopefully inspire LIFE changes and if that is not your cup of tea….Sorry, Not Sorry.
And lastly, for those people that just hate the fact that I offer my story – my life experience to share my strength, hope, and courage from a Christian perspective; To all that this would offend: Sorry, but I will not apologize. That’s it, I won’t apologize for trying to help people. I won’t apologize if sharing how God changed my life offends you. It is not a prerequisite that anyone I help surrenders their life to Christ and follows my faith! I have never, EVER said that. But I guarantee that I will not be ashamed to tell my story from now on. I have come too far in my walk and had too many people thank me for sharing my story with them to give up now.
Do what is right and you won’t have to apologize for it either.
God bless and Happy New Year!